I went to a family wedding earlier this year. At our places at dinner, we each had a name card with a quote on the back. Mine read: I have one talent; I never give up. We laughed at the aptness but it was also a well-timed personal reminder to me: Keep going, you’re almost there, don’t give up. And on I went with the current rewrite, kicking the doubt demons into the dust along the way.
I think it is possible that in the history of The Writers’ Workshop, I hold the longest record for not giving up: eleven years, two months and 26 days, to be precise. I was one of their earliest clients with my nine chapters of an unfinished ghost novel for children. It was the first piece of fiction I’d written since leaving school and although I had experienced a huge buzz writing it, I’d taken a year and a half to get to Chapter Nine and then stalled. Was it any good? Did I even know what I was doing? Could I actually write a whole novel? After uttering once too often, ‘but how do I know if I can actually do this?’, my husband searched on google, found The Writers’ Workshop and told me to go and find out. A few weeks later, I had a report back from Harry. The gist: yes, you can do this; here are all the things you need to learn about writing first.
That was June 2005 and I haven’t stopped learning since – Arvon, The Word Cloud, reciprocal critiquing arrangements, constructive feedback from agents, the WW online self-edit course, six Festivals of Writing, mentoring from the outstanding Debi Alper (who gets a special mention here), and always the ongoing support and encouragement from the team at The Writers’ Workshop.
I spent many years on that original ghost novel (writing, finishing, rewriting, editing, finishing again, rewriting, editing, finishing again) and I came very close with a number of agents, including one who read, offered feedback and re-read several times over a period of three or four years, and my opening chapter was shortlisted at the 2012 FOW, but I never quite jumped the agent hurdle. I decided to put the novel in the drawer and move on. I’d been writing and rewriting it for nine years and was desperate for a change. I started a second children’s novel and rediscovered that buzz of fresh, no-idea-where-it’s-going writing. But fitting it in around two children and an increasingly demanding job meant progress was slow and I struggled with motivation. I dabbled in other bits and pieces, never settling on anything, but I started to write short stories and flash fiction in different styles and voices, and quite a step away from the children’s fiction where I felt comfortable.
In 2013, several things happened to dramatically change my direction and fire my motivation. Firstly, I moved jobs to one that was far more creative, allowing me to focus on my passion for music and step back from time-consuming paperwork. Secondly, my youngest son started preschool freeing up a precious few daytime hours in which to write. Thirdly, and probably most importantly, Stories for Homes happened.
Debi and her friend, Sally Swingewood, decided they wanted to create an anthology of short stories and poems on a theme of ‘home’ to raise money for Shelter. Debi asked for submissions of stories, techy help, proof-readers and so on. I was determined to make progress on my children’s novel and I had no story ideas so I replied to say that I would help where I could but doubted it would be in story form. However, just before the story deadline, I read Claire King’s The Night Rainbow, a wonderful, inspiring novel written from the POV of a five-year-old girl (Read it!) It’s themes are not about homelessness but it sparked a thought – what does homelessness look like, feel like, smell like to a young child? And there was Jesika with her hands on her hips and that look she gets on her face when an adult is being really silly, wondering out loud why it took me for ages to notice her.
I wrote and edited Jesika’s story in a week and sent it to Debi and Sally just in time for the deadline. They loved it. They made it the first story in the book. The book was filled with 60 or so other fantastic stories and poems and the book went on sale and raised over £2000 for Shelter. (It’s still on sale, still raising money for Shelter – you can buy it here.) I was very proud to be a small part of the overall project and when the excitement died down, I returned to the children’s novel. Except Jesika had other ideas. She wouldn’t leave me alone. I realised that one short story was not going to satisfy her.
I’ve spent the last three years writing, rewriting and editing Jesika’s novel. In that time, Debi has continued to mentor me and I’ve been to four FOWs, each time taking a little bit of Jesika’s story with me for my 1:1s. In 2013, all three agents told me they loved the voice, and they’d love to see more. (Wasn’t finished, made a note of their names). In 2014, I saw two more agents who loved the voice but weren’t convinced I could sustain it (and I still hadn’t finished it so I couldn’t prove them wrong). However, that year I also went to a workshop run by Shelley Harris and as a result of a piece of writing I scribbled for one of her tasks, she introduced me to her agent, Jo Unwin, and we talked about the novel and she gave me encouragement to continue and in early 2015, I finished the first draft and started rewriting. In 2015, I submitted to Jo as one of my 1:1s. She loved it and wanted to see more, and then after the festival, one of the agents I saw in 2013 asked to see the first chapter and she also loved it and wanted to see more, but the rewrite wasn’t finished.
It took me a year to finish – during an emotionally challenging year and with enormous help from Debi’s editorial genius – and just before the 2016 festival, I was ready to submit again. I had two agent 1:1s arranged at the festival and I emailed Jo Unwin and the other agent to ask if they wanted to see it too. I assumed that nothing much would happen for a few months and then I’d look at any feedback I got from the agents and talk to Debi about further rewrites. What actually happened was I ended up with four agents reading the full MS, two making me an offer of representation, one taking me out for lunch and me having a choice to make – all in the space of three and a half weeks!
I’m delighted to say (and still pinching myself when I say it) that I chose Jo Unwin. I know that this is one more hurdle in a series of hurdles and who knows what comes next, but I’m very excited to have arrived at a place I’ve been working towards for so long and so grateful for the day my husband handed me The Writers’ Workshop info and told me to get on with it. I stepped through a door that day that led me to so many fantastic opportunities, wonderful people and great friends – and I am the writer I am today because of them.
Firstly, in 2007, Harry posted about me on a now-dead blog to congratulate me on that initial success of finding an agent who believed enough in my first novel to offer feedback and ask to read it again. He acknowledged there were no guarantees that it would lead to representation but he said, ‘I bet Mandy makes it though. And I bet she sells well when she does. Certainly hope so.’ I printed that blog off and pinned it up to remind me to keep going, and I did keep going. Thank you, Harry. And thank you to everyone else along the way who believed I could do this.
Secondly, one of the many agents who rejected my children’s novel five years ago is the agent I’m now signed with. My advice: Be rejected, crawl away and weep in a corner, look at feedback, eat chocolate, learn, re-read feedback, swear, try new things, get involved with other writers, allow your writing to be critiqued, learn more, delete, rewrite, edit, throw the whole lot in the bin for a day – but never give up!